InSanity

I hoped to be happy
I hoped to be good
To be what I am
To be who I am
I didn't know
Any better then
But it was all wrong from the start

In sanity I tried to trust
Its decalogue of deadly sins
Blessed be the one who knows and tries
The one who heeds directions, wins
But I could never win
Maybe I didn't know enough
So I could never win

I couldn't, I wouldn't, fury, screams, again

I wish to be broken
I wish to be down
To be something else
To be something less
Maybe then
Maybe then you would
Realise that I am not you

In sanity I hardly trust
All it can tell is "don't" and "no"
It's all fear wrapped in bitter lies
A promise of a place to go
There's nowhere left to go
A promised land ground into dust
And nowhere left to go

I couldn't, I shouldn't, panic, void, reset

Let them break down, the walls of glass
That stiffle possibilities
Let fire scorch my every nerve
'Til there is nothing left to fear
No pain to hold at bay

Here I am mouthing a prayer
I dare not speak aloud
Between belief and disbelief

I leap

Guide me, oh voices from the deep
I'll go without and go within
Paint on the sky
Play on the air
To see and feel
What's barely there
I'll trust in dreams and fairy tales
I'll trust in stories in my head
It's true, it's not - nothing to say
A secret, secret it shall stay
Faster and faster
Slower than slow
I 'll go where I've still left to go